LSAT Kung Fu Blog / Well, Fernando, You've Got Me There

Well, Fernando, You've Got Me There

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Well, Fernando, You’ve Got Me There

Yes, that is a Krispy Kreme donut surrounding bacon, eggs, and a burger patty

Ladies and Gentlemen, prepare your golf claps: I hit the gym yesterday for the fifth consecutive weekday (like unto the Lord, I rest on the Sabbath. Of course, I also take off Sundays, but I’m not almighty, OK?).

While I was there, I had some thoughts (between pained breaths):

  1. It struck me once again how much I hate going to the gym.  Have you lifted any of the weights over there?  I mean, they’re heavy. It’s not easy, is all I’m saying.
  2. Also, why do we do this now?  Our parents didn’t do this to themselves, nor their parents before them.  (They also didn’t eat fried food that comes literally served in a bucket, nor did they drink soda out of what is essentially an infant bath.  And we do, so I suppose what we’re doing is, we’re trying to stave off the creeping tendrils of The Fat by lifting heavy things over and over.  So I guess that that answers that).
  3. Maybe I shouldn’t have eaten this
  4. Going to the gym is a lot like getting ready for the LSAT (except, in my classes, I almost never make you lift heavy things. Or eat things, for that matter).

Here’s what I mean:

I’ve got a personal trainer, who is the cause of almost all of my problems in life. I don’t know why I ever hired Fernando, because every time I see him, he makes me do horrible things involving “stretching,” “running,” and “working through the pain.”

The thing is, I thought I wanted to get in shape, so I hired a coach to help me do it. And he’s very fit and all, and he’s smart and he developed a plan for me to use to pummel my body into submission. But going to the gym = pain, and I don’t get along well with pain (I’m actually not even on speaking terms with pain, if you want to know the full nature of our relationship), so I didn’t, you know, actually go to the gym except when I had to meet Fernando.

Now, this next part might come as a bit of a shock to you (I know it did to me), but I found that I was not losing weight nor gaining “fitness” as rapidly as Fernando had said that I might.

Naturally, I confronted him.

Fernando, I said, it has been one month now, and I am not incredibly toned and sculpted like the statue of David as chiseled by Michelangelo Buonarroti. Pour qua?

Well, Dave, he offered by way of riposte, have you been completing your workouts?

But of course, I replied, haughtily. Every time I see you I do one of these “workouts.”

Yes, Dave, he admonished patiently, but do you do the workouts on other days, as well?

I had to confess that he had me there.

Fernando, you’ve got me there, I said.

And this is the thing: It doesn’t matter how fit my coach is, nor how smart, nor how clever and effective is the plan he crafts for me. If I only go to the gym on days I see my coach, I’m just not going to see real results. In order to really improve, I need to take my coach’s advice and get my lame ass to the gym every day (or, like, at least five times a week. Come on).

LSAT preparation is like that: It doesn’t matter how smart your instructor is, or how many perfect LSAT scores he has (although, as you may know, I’m one of only two people in the world – as far as I have found – who has multiple perfect scores on this test. I’m not blowing my own horn – wait, yes, I am blowing my own horn. I know it’s wrong); if the only time you work on LSAT is when you’re with your LSAT coach, you just aren’t going to see the kind of improvement you’re capable of.

OK?

Now, I’m going to the gym. The howls you hear will be testament to my dedication.

Stay fat,

d

P.S. You really have to check out this guy (no relation).