Week 4: Read Till Your Eyes Bleed

[Ed. note: As you read the following, bear in mind that the author's position has changed]

I've been thinking about this a lot this month, and I probbly should have told you about it sooner (but you've heard at least some version of this before now, I'm sure).

If you think LSAT Reading Comp is hard, may god preserve you when/if you get into law school.

Here, let’s do some analogies to clarify. [Actually, wait. First, do you remember analogies? Many of you are young enough that you didn’t do them on the SAT. We should probably do a quick Analogy Refresher, then. Analogies of the type I’m discussing take the form Thing A relates to Thing B in the same way that Thing X relates to Thing Y. And they’re written using this format:

Thing A : Thing B :: Thing X : Thing Y

So, for example, 

Being bit by a mosquito : Being stung by a bee :: Being punched by your baby sister : Being punched by your older brother (in which your baby sister is 7, your older brother is 17, and you are 11). The first one in each set is not so bad when compared to the second one in each set. 

Analogies don’t always have to be relative strength comparisons, btw. You could totally say 

Hat : Head :: Glove : Hand

I mean, that last bit's not super-relevant here, but I cannot pass up any opportunity to explain something.]

Got it? OK. Let’s do some analogies!

• LSAT Reading Comp : Law School reading :: Flu shot : Being impaled by a bull
• LSAT Reading Comp : Law School reading :: Sidewalk crack : Grand Canyon
• LSAT Reading Comp : Law School reading :: A fly buzzing in your ear : A jet plane landing over your shoulder
• LSAT Reading Comp : Law School reading :: Acne : Having your face eaten off by Hannibal Lecter
• LSAT Reading Comp : Law School reading :: Mouse : Giant Mutant Radioactive People-Eating Mouse
• LSAT Reading Comp : Law School reading :: Touching your dog’s poop while bagging it : Being trapped inside a construction-site porta-potty that is then tipped over

[I have to stop now because I’m retching into my mouth]

So here’s the point: In law school, you are going to do more reading, of a more difficult nature, than you have ever done in your life. You are going to have more asked of you than you ever have before.

The good news? (Not that there’s really much by way of good news here, but I feel it's only gentlemanly to look for at least a sliver of hope before thoroughly demoralizing someone). The way I have you reading in preparation for LSAT Reading Comp is very similar to the kind of reading that will be rewarded in your law school classes.

Hey! Let’s do some more analogies, shall we?

• Reading skills required for success on the SAT : Reading skills required for success on the LSAT :: Reading skills required for success on the LSAT : Reading skills required for success in law school
• Reading skills required for success on the LSAT : Reading skills required for success in law school :: Parking a mini cooper in the average Southern California parking structure : Parking a Chevy Suburban in that same parking spot
• Reading skills required for success on the LSAT : Reading skills required for success in law school :: Parking a mini cooper in the average Southern California parking structure : Threading a needle
• Reading skills required for success on the LSAT : Reading skills required for success in law school :: the best wrestler on your college wrestling team : Randy “Macho Man” Savage [oh, yeah]

N.B. If you did not enjoy the close reading required to distinguish the analogies above, you are going to hate law school.

But!

If you paid attention, you might have noticed that while law school reading material is much, much more difficult than the LSAT Reading Comp material, the skills required to manage that reading are only somewhat more refined.

So!

If you can easily find the Main Point and Purpose of your LSAT passages using the techniques we’ve learned together, you will likely find that you can identify Issues, Rules, and Reasoning within law school casebooks without too much extra effort (it’ll be the quantity that kills you).

If you are struggling mightily with LSAT Reading Comp, you will likely struggle in ways you have not yet fully imagined in law school. So if you really hate—like, hate hate—LSAT Reading Comp, it is very likely that you will be miserable throughout (at least) the entirety of your first semester of law school. Just keep it in mind, OK?

I’ve got to go now. I’ve got 40 pages (of the most difficult material I’ve ever been assigned) to read before tomorrow.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Post them below, or shoot me an email.

Be good to one another, for we need it now more than maybe ever,

d

P.S. Looking for a smoking hot Velocity LSAT discount code? Use this code: DHALL10 at checkout to get 10% off your enrollment in any course! That code will work for the remainder of 2017.